well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Randomize
