i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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