Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
