What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
