brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
