I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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