hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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