And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
