So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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