You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
