For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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