I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize