Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
being pregnant is like rehab
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
