Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
