Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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