I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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