Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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