so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
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You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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