so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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