Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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