Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
