I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
