i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
