Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize