the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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