if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
