They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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