we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
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And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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