She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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