You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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