yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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