She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
