She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
