Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
