We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
