Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
