At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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