Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.