I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...