oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.