im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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