As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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