I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
