wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize