We're facebook friends in real life
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
