Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
