This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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