first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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