I faked an abortion last night.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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