So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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