She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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