we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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