I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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