She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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