if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
