Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
