I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
