His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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