You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
