I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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