Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
